








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4234 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3836 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2151 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2833 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $804,956 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagoma | 56% | 88 |
| #2 | B0rn2Kill | 53% | 49 |
| #3 | ✪ Jockel | 50% | 117 |
| #4 | Dj Khaled ツ | 50% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagoma | 56% | 88 |
| #2 | B0rn2Kill | 53% | 49 |
| #3 | ✪ Jockel | 50% | 117 |
| #4 | Dj Khaled ツ | 50% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jockel | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Dj Khaled ツ | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Tagoma | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | B0rn2Kill | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jockel | 346 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | Tagoma | 198 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Dj Khaled ツ | 196 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | B0rn2Kill | 130 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagoma | +2.94 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | B0rn2Kill | +1.37 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | ᴹᴬᴰ|ɴᴇss | +0.90 | 85 | 70 |
| #4 | ✪ Jockel | +0.49 | 50 | 64 |
| #5 | Dj Khaled ツ | -2.12 | 58 | 57 |





