








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1865 | 40% |
| Smokes | 522 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 1570 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 689 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $364,215 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch - Maystarsxo | 46% | 109 |
| #2 | Substance <3 | 35% | 184 |
| #3 | Mnu. | 34% | 327 |
| #4 | Noobles | 32% | 37 |
| #5 | QuietlyCryptic | 31% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Substance <3 | 35% | 184 |
| #3 | Mnu. | 34% | 327 |
| #4 | Noobles | 32% | 37 |
| #5 | QuietlyCryptic | 31% | 167 |
| #6 | Digital Tate | 25% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mnu. | 43 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Noobles | 19 | 0.0250 |
| #3 | Substance <3 | 18 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | QuietlyCryptic | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Twitch - Maystarsxo | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mnu. | 662 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | Substance <3 | 444 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | QuietlyCryptic | 230 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Twitch - Maystarsxo | 151 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Noobles | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch - Maystarsxo | +2.86 | 34 | 62 |
| #2 | Noobles | +1.59 | 64 | 44 |
| #3 | Substance <3 | -0.56 | 20 | 60 |
| #4 | Mnu. | -0.93 | 21 | 38 |
| #5 | QuietlyCryptic | -1.86 | 8 | 33 |





