








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1402 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 131 | 20% |
| Smokes | 71 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 234 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 224 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $93,966 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RevI700 | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Dr. Legendary Orange | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | GenPapaJ | 51% | 86 |
| #4 | StiffySupreme | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | big stinky retard | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RevI700 | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | Dr. Legendary Orange | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | GenPapaJ | 51% | 86 |
| #4 | StiffySupreme | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | big stinky retard | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StiffySupreme | 17 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | GenPapaJ | 12 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | Dr. Legendary Orange | 9 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | RevI700 | 7 | 0.0153 |
| #5 | big stinky retard | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StiffySupreme | 67 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | GenPapaJ | 59 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | RevI700 | 32 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dr. Legendary Orange | 30 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | big stinky retard | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Legendary Orange | +4.37 | 88 | 29 |
| #2 | GenPapaJ | +3.92 | 85 | 33 |
| #3 | RevI700 | +2.58 | 87 | 66 |
| #4 | StiffySupreme | +0.51 | 63 | 36 |
| #5 | big stinky retard | -1.16 | 55 | 27 |





