








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 481 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1047 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1175 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1083 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1011 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $913,767 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lรครคski | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | pornokebabbi | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | @Ubiops | 51% | 89 |
| #4 | @Seth | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Vallez | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | @Ubiops | 51% | 89 |
| #4 | @Seth | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | Vallez | 49% | 94 |
| #6 | Tike Myson | 33% | 48 |
| #7 | aaron | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @Ubiops | 33 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | Vallez | 21 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | pornokebabbi | 11 | 0.0216 |
| #4 | @Seth | 8 | 0.0226 |
| #5 | lรครคski | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @Ubiops | 248 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Vallez | 231 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tike Myson | 92 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | pornokebabbi | 91 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | lรครคski | 52 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๐๐๐๐๐ | +1.45 | 58 | 57 |
| #2 | @Seth | +1.12 | 71 | 37 |
| #3 | Vallez | +0.82 | 50 | 62 |
| #4 | lรครคski | +0.41 | 59 | 58 |
| #5 | @Ubiops | +0.15 | 48 | 44 |





