








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 360 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




129 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2695 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2316 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3420 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1933 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,682,410 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | pornokebabbi | 52% | 58 |
| #5 | 𝕂𝕖𝕓𝕒𝕓 | 51% | 89 |
| #6 | aaron | 49% | 116 |
| #7 | Tike Myson | 46% | 266 |
| #8 | @Seth | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vallez | 41 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | Tike Myson | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | 𝕂𝕖𝕓𝕒𝕓 | 11 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | pornokebabbi | 11 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | aaron | 9 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tike Myson | 679 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Vallez | 312 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | aaron | 180 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | pornokebabbi | 163 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | 𝕂𝕖𝕓𝕒𝕓 | 148 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕂𝕖𝕓𝕒𝕓 | +1.56 | 58 | 55 |
| #2 | Vallez | +0.64 | 57 | 58 |
| #3 | @Ubiops | +0.61 | 50 | 39 |
| #4 | Tike Myson | +0.58 | 61 | 49 |
| #5 | @Seth | -0.19 | 58 | 28 |





