








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2121 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1090 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1064 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 959 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,743 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Filho | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | higihais | 58% | 83 |
| #3 | r1ke | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | JERRY COTTON | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | kallu | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1ke | +3.77 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | JERRY COTTON | +2.41 | 87 | 61 |
| #3 | higihais | +1.36 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | persai1 | +0.33 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | Juse | -0.41 | 57 | 59 |





