








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 417 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,175 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4493 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3601 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3124 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2957 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $471,955 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dane | 58% | 83 |
| #2 | r1ke | 55% | 86 |
| #3 | JERRY COTTON | 51% | 226 |
| #4 | persai1 | 50% | 118 |
| #5 | kallu | 49% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JERRY COTTON | 592 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #2 | kallu | 503 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | Juse | 411 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | dane | 355 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #5 | persai1 | 273 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1ke | +2.94 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | JERRY COTTON | +1.09 | 86 | 60 |
| #3 | higihais | +0.62 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | persai1 | -0.09 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | Juse | -0.61 | 58 | 60 |





