








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
525 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 92 | 12% |
| Smokes | 465 | 59% |
| HE Grenades | 129 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 101 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $127,449 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dardxn | 47% | 68 |
| #2 | dicc | 44% | 45 |
| #3 | Fainted | 36% | 45 |
| #4 | Theodor | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dardxn | 47% | 68 |
| #2 | dicc | 44% | 45 |
| #3 | Fainted | 36% | 45 |
| #4 | Theodor | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dicc | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | dardxn | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Fainted | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Theodor | 2 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dardxn | 337 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #2 | dicc | 174 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Theodor | 95 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fainted | 54 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dardxn | +4.75 | 75 | 58 |
| #2 | dicc | +2.69 | 63 | 57 |
| #3 | Theodor | -1.96 | 26 | 56 |
| #4 | SniperMonkey | -3.75 | 23 | 17 |
| #5 | Fainted | -4.68 | 27 | 30 |





