








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2365 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2677 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1227 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1268 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $456,570 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dardxn | 51% | 197 |
| #2 | Theodor | 49% | 95 |
| #3 | SniperMonkey | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | Fainted | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dardxn | 51% | 197 |
| #2 | Theodor | 49% | 95 |
| #3 | SniperMonkey | 44% | 45 |
| #4 | Fainted | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dardxn | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Theodor | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Fainted | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | SniperMonkey | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dardxn | 1066 | 0.27 | 23 min |
| #2 | Theodor | 384 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | Fainted | 65 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | SniperMonkey | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dardxn | +3.46 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | dicc | +1.65 | 57 | 56 |
| #3 | Theodor | -3.34 | 22 | 55 |
| #4 | SniperMonkey | -4.89 | 14 | 18 |
| #5 | Fainted | -5.69 | 21 | 26 |





