








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 932 matches | ||
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,187 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6613 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5054 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5870 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4650 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,255,719 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 57% | 138 |
| #2 | jhinbe | 56% | 198 |
| #3 | j | 55% | 71 |
| #4 | Vinobi | 53% | 158 |
| #5 | FuckedUp2Much | 53% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jhinbe | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | j | 15 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Snow | 13 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Vinobi | 11 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | FuckedUp2Much | 7 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 593 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | FuckedUp2Much | 247 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vinobi | 220 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | j | 183 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | jhinbe | 111 | 0.03 | 3 min |





