








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1082 | 30% |
| Smokes | 682 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 985 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 848 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $117,485 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Jack Sparrow | 108 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #2 | aggressive homie | 80 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #3 | NUK3TUB3 | 39 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | knilgames | 37 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ketamine Kurosaki | 32 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aggressive homie | +4.25 | 73 | 38 |
| #2 | Jomby | +3.43 | 74 | 46 |
| #3 | Ketamine Kurosaki | +1.65 | 95 | 31 |
| #4 | NUK3TUB3 | -0.20 | 39 | 45 |
| #5 | freak | -0.36 | 45 | 51 |





