








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 651 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1528 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2169 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1552 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1579 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $950,804 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1mple | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | 🆉🆉🆉🆉 | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | ✪ Spike | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Johan | 53% | 199 |
| #5 | donk | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1mple | 79% | 24 |
| #2 | 🆉🆉🆉🆉 | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | ✪ Spike | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Johan | 53% | 199 |
| #5 | donk | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johan | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | donk | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | 🆉🆉🆉🆉 | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johan | 230 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | ✪ Spike | 56 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | 🆉🆉🆉🆉 | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | s1mple | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | donk | 3 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0kke | +2.58 | 66 | 45 |
| #2 | Johan | +0.78 | 80 | 46 |
| #3 | ✪ Spike | -0.36 | 87 | 67 |
| #4 | 🆉🆉🆉🆉 | -0.69 | 66 | 62 |
| #5 | donk | -0.72 | 66 | 24 |





