








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2370 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1310 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1658 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1194 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $191,226 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΆπππππππ | 49% | 145 |
| #2 | DeagJr | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | nave | 47% | 102 |
| #4 | shake it for luther king | 45% | 155 |
| #5 | The Weeb Slayer | 38% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nave | 47% | 102 |
| #4 | shake it for luther king | 45% | 155 |
| #5 | The Weeb Slayer | 38% | 96 |
| #6 | Jimmy shoerack β | 33% | 15 |
| #7 | Fedsmoker | 33% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Weeb Slayer | 31 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | πΆπππππππ | 22 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | nave | 17 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | shake it for luther king | 13 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Fedsmoker | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nave | 575 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #2 | πΆπππππππ | 506 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | shake it for luther king | 451 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | The Weeb Slayer | 323 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | DeagJr | 59 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeagJr | +6.06 | 70 | 67 |
| #2 | πΆπππππππ | +3.42 | 66 | 64 |
| #3 | nave | +3.41 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | shake it for luther king | +0.29 | 81 | 52 |
| #5 | The Weeb Slayer | -0.46 | 60 | 49 |





