








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5455 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5979 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1656 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 4344 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,966 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Floady | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | b0bbyB | 59% | 87 |
| #3 | The Weeb Slayer | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | πΆπππππππ | 54% | 68 |
| #5 | nave | 54% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Shadow | 49% | 100 |
| #11 | Illiquid | 44% | 41 |
| #12 | jpwitt | 44% | 39 |
| #13 | Chick3n | 43% | 30 |
| #14 | nσ ³β§β§ull | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nave | 23 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | The Weeb Slayer | 12 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | Koala Jesus | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | πΆπππππππ | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Floady | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koala Jesus | 629 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | nave | 603 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #3 | πΆπππππππ | 280 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #4 | shake it for luther king | 278 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | b0bbyB | 244 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeagJr | +2.20 | 51 | 69 |
| #2 | Koala Jesus | +2.14 | 81 | 63 |
| #3 | nave | +1.83 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | πΆπππππππ | +1.12 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | Shadow | +0.71 | 77 | 44 |





