










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 662 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3238 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 778 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1046 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 950 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 459 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,574 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scruffy | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Ghostmdk | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | *★,°*:. jones | 55% | 119 |
| #4 | Mr Cocks | 51% | 77 |
| #5 | suni | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ghostmdk | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | *★,°*:. jones | 55% | 119 |
| #4 | Mr Cocks | 51% | 77 |
| #5 | suni | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Mnk ツ | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *★,°*:. jones | 13 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Mnk ツ | 8 | 0.0116 |
| #3 | Mr Cocks | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Ghostmdk | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Scruffy | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ghostmdk | 274 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #2 | *★,°*:. jones | 231 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Mr Cocks | 180 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | suni | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mnk ツ | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SebSTR | +2.16 | 88 | 42 |
| #2 | *★,°*:. jones | +2.15 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | Ghostmdk | +1.51 | 74 | 55 |
| #4 | Scruffy | +0.48 | 77 | 37 |
| #5 | Mnk ツ | +0.30 | 57 | 47 |





