








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 736 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3402 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1634 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2428 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2228 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $421,259 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | snapmand | 47% | 232 |
| #5 | fuglsangs | 47% | 66 |
| #6 | Owly | 44% | 71 |
| #7 | Donny | 43% | 131 |
| #8 | Sassy <3 | 41% | 145 |





