








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 628 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 648 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2750 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4582 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4023 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1585 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,196,387 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1883 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.HopOutAndDumpThatDrake | 56% | 82 |
| #2 | The 100% real Brad Pitt | 53% | 98 |
| #3 | Emoster | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | uncleruckus | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.HopOutAndDumpThatDrake | 56% | 82 |
| #2 | The 100% real Brad Pitt | 53% | 98 |
| #3 | Emoster | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | uncleruckus | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.HopOutAndDumpThatDrake | 30 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | Emoster | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | The 100% real Brad Pitt | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | uncleruckus | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Emoster | 293 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | The 100% real Brad Pitt | 215 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mr.HopOutAndDumpThatDrake | 98 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | uncleruckus | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.HopOutAndDumpThatDrake | +1.32 | 56 | 34 |
| #2 | Panda | +1.29 | 78 | 41 |
| #3 | Emoster | +0.60 | 67 | 70 |
| #4 | The 100% real Brad Pitt | -1.46 | 39 | 64 |
| #5 | uncleruckus | -2.67 | 80 | 30 |





