








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2091 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1840 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2955 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2973 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,238,492 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ratoN | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | espX | 57% | 76 |
| #3 | Sensei.☯ | 55% | 89 |
| #4 | zenqju | 55% | 119 |
| #5 | aproxje | 55% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zenqju | 48 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | espX | 39 | 0.0258 |
| #3 | aproxje | 32 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | ratoN | 28 | 0.0266 |
| #5 | Sensei.☯ | 14 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aproxje | 452 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #2 | Sensei.☯ | 374 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | espX | 218 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | ratoN | 107 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | zenqju | 75 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aproxje | +2.81 | 84 | 53 |
| #2 | zenqju | +1.41 | 80 | 38 |
| #3 | olley | +1.10 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | espX | +0.14 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | Sensei.☯ | +0.10 | 62 | 55 |





