










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




130 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 114 | 19% |
| Smokes | 128 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 218 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 135 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,883 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3692 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutella biscuit lover | 60% | 73 |
| #2 | jolly prochix | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | 330ml/s Beer chug | 53% | 40 |
| #4 | jolly bl1ss | 48% | 65 |
| #5 | silly fella | 44% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CYKLER | +3.48 | 51 | 20 |
| #2 | Yuuki | +2.99 | 81 | 49 |
| #3 | nutella biscuit lover | +2.88 | 76 | 34 |
| #4 | jolly prochix | +1.55 | 57 | 32 |
| #5 | ⛤Seline⛤ | +1.33 | 62 | 6 |





