








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,094 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 105 | 10% |
| Smokes | 318 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 464 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 207 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,601 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fungus | 10 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Elvinus Frontjert Flipperton | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | nsla | 1 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | xk10aK | 1 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nsla | +9.65 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | fungus | +1.26 | 31 | 20 |
| #3 | Elvinus Frontjert Flipperton | -0.47 | 25 | 11 |
| #4 | Peenis Fug Chuckler | -1.99 | 26 | 25 |
| #5 | xk10aK | -4.57 | 15 | 40 |





