










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2 | 1% |
| Smokes | 32 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 102 | 56% |
| Molotovs | 47 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $31,850 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E3L1Z | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | Ncishi | 33% | 12 |
| #3 | Ivzoh | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | ubermaister | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | Olliii | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ivzoh | 30% | 10 |
| #4 | ubermaister | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | Olliii | 20% | 5 |
| #6 | 3VILL | 20% | 5 |
| #7 | superSTA101 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 3VILL | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | E3L1Z | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #2 | ubermaister | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | Ivzoh | 2 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | 3VILL | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Olliii | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ubermaister | +2.82 | 56 | 61 |
| #2 | E3L1Z | +1.44 | 60 | 28 |
| #3 | Kirottu | -1.87 | 15 | 17 |
| #4 | Ivzoh | -2.86 | 12 | 46 |
| #5 | Ncishi | -3.75 | 24 | 15 |





