








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 716 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4844 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2019 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2335 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3367 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,665 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A-P☂ | 60% | 110 |
| #2 | Testamenttimagneetti | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | ButtHead | 53% | 166 |
| #4 | OldMinglee | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | ✪ђєรรย | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | OldMinglee | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | ✪ђєรรย | 36% | 36 |
| #6 | Papi | 34% | 47 |
| #7 | JoppeM | 29% | 41 |
| #8 | TESTOMIKSU | 19% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Testamenttimagneetti | 15 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | ButtHead | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Papi | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | A-P☂ | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | TESTOMIKSU | 5 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ButtHead | 606 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | ✪ђєรรย | 295 | 0.39 | 6 min |
| #3 | A-P☂ | 263 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Testamenttimagneetti | 177 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Papi | 128 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OldMinglee | +4.08 | 74 | 46 |
| #2 | A-P☂ | +2.74 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | Papi | +2.08 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | Testamenttimagneetti | +2.01 | 78 | 73 |
| #5 | ButtHead | +0.86 | 65 | 59 |





