








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2589 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1455 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2683 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2570 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,222 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old Player ⚡ | 63% | 65 |
| #2 | fork | 59% | 44 |
| #3 | Cozzi :3 | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | seum | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | nully | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seum | 5 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | nully | 5 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | fork | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | SoundeR | 4 | 0.0125 |
| #5 | szns | 3 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old Player ⚡ | 189 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | fork | 149 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | nully | 100 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #4 | seum | 93 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | szns | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old Player ⚡ | +4.45 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | fork | +4.09 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | Cozzi :3 | +4.07 | 84 | 46 |
| #4 | SoundeR | +3.34 | 63 | 42 |
| #5 | seum | +3.28 | 57 | 26 |





