








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1124 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1389 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 964 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1331 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,111 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | seum | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | RichLife | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | konpazinho | 67% | 6 |
| #6 | fork | 67% | 18 |
| #7 | Pengu | 63% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pengu | 8 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | fork | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | RichLife | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pengu | 259 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | fork | 54 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cozzi :3 | 22 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | seum | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | RichLife | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cozzi :3 | +3.85 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | Old Player ⚡ | +3.77 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | fork | +2.86 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | konpazinho | +1.71 | 70 | 63 |
| #5 | seum | +1.27 | 43 | 27 |





