








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Wingman | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3654 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3052 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2960 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2202 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,778 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slow | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | ye | 49% | 77 |
| #3 | Ecility | 48% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slow | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | ye | 49% | 77 |
| #3 | Ecility | 48% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ye | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Ecility | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Slow | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ye | 307 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ecility | 253 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Slow | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutie patootie | +1.66 | 66 | 52 |
| #2 | ye | +0.35 | 84 | 43 |
| #3 | Ecility | +0.07 | 54 | 42 |
| #4 | Slow | -3.34 | 41 | 32 |





