








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,625 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1142 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2139 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2148 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1196 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,041,621 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slow | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | cutie patootie | 48% | 245 |
| #3 | ye | 45% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slow | 53% | 36 |
| #2 | cutie patootie | 48% | 245 |
| #3 | ye | 45% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ye | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | cutie patootie | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Slow | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutie patootie | 520 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | ye | 508 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Slow | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutie patootie | +1.07 | 66 | 52 |
| #2 | Ecility | +0.20 | 54 | 46 |
| #3 | ye | -0.15 | 88 | 42 |
| #4 | Slow | -3.77 | 40 | 35 |





