








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3847 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5014 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3883 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3392 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $824,985 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tefloN | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | 𝓼𝓷𝓸𝔀𝓮𝔂 | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | JanR | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | 𝕜𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕜𝕒 | 50% | 124 |
| #5 | mild | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tefloN | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | 𝓼𝓷𝓸𝔀𝓮𝔂 | 57% | 21 |
| #3 | JanR | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | 𝕜𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕜𝕒 | 50% | 124 |
| #5 | mild | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕜𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕜𝕒 | 13 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | JanR | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | tefloN | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | mild | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | 𝓼𝓷𝓸𝔀𝓮𝔂 | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JanR | 148 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | 𝕜𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕜𝕒 | 145 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | tefloN | 96 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | mild | 75 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | 𝓼𝓷𝓸𝔀𝓮𝔂 | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tefloN | +2.87 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | JanR | +2.74 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | moncler | +1.77 | 87 | 64 |
| #4 | mild | +1.01 | 87 | 55 |
| #5 | 𝕜𝕣𝕦𝕤𝕜𝕒 | -0.40 | 77 | 43 |





