








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 339 | 20% |
| Smokes | 528 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 295 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 528 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $114,494 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Superkahvi | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | osuka | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | filipinos22 | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Merkedes | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | laaSiQ | 36% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Superkahvi | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | laaSiQ | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Merkedes | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balls | +4.34 | 47 | 60 |
| #2 | ™MikSucks☁ | +0.03 | 54 | 47 |
| #3 | Merkedes | -0.04 | 59 | 51 |
| #4 | Superkahvi | -0.34 | 59 | 56 |
| #5 | laaSiQ | -0.42 | 55 | 48 |





