








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 142 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2316 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1261 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 999 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 736 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,693 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cccccccccccccccc | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | ᴇɢᴏɪꜱᴛ | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Энэрэл Опозит | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | gg go next | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | ㄷㄷ | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ᴇɢᴏɪꜱᴛ | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Энэрэл Опозит | 57% | 60 |
| #4 | gg go next | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | ㄷㄷ | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | yofuckwatafuck | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Энэрэл Опозит | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | gg go next | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | cccccccccccccccc | 3 | 0.0113 |
| #4 | yofuckwatafuck | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | ㄷㄷ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gg go next | 160 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | Энэрэл Опозит | 141 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | yofuckwatafuck | 103 | 0.35 | 2 min |
| #4 | ㄷㄷ | 71 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | cccccccccccccccc | 47 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gg go next | +1.94 | 76 | 62 |
| #2 | Plumber | +0.50 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | ᴇɢᴏɪꜱᴛ | +0.15 | 61 | 66 |
| #4 | Энэрэл Опозит | +0.07 | 78 | 55 |
| #5 | yofuckwatafuck | -0.63 | 75 | 68 |





