








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 566 | 41% |
| Smokes | 177 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 439 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 182 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $185,332 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cnt | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | baitzera | 50% | 50 |
| #3 | ✪ VareK | 47% | 49 |
| #4 | Cotonete7 | 47% | 43 |
| #5 | wowquinhas | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cotonete7 | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | baitzera | 6 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | ✪ VareK | 5 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | wowquinhas | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Cnt | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ VareK | 119 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | baitzera | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | wowquinhas | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Cotonete7 | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cnt | 36 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ VareK | +0.61 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | Cnt | +0.46 | 60 | 66 |
| #3 | dyarssair | +0.16 | 72 | 42 |
| #4 | baitzera | +0.13 | 58 | 45 |
| #5 | Celoba | -0.29 | 86 | 38 |





