








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 863 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 443 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4359 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3879 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4706 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3232 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,928 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 621 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | €×1|€™ | 59% | 124 |
| #2 | 「✪ Re$PecT」 | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | KingZZ | 55% | 139 |
| #4 | ✪ Light | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | Jerry | 52% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 「✪ Re$PecT」 | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | KingZZ | 55% | 139 |
| #4 | ✪ Light | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | Jerry | 52% | 69 |
| #6 | $utta4fter$ex | 50% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerry | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | €×1|€™ | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | $utta4fter$ex | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | KingZZ | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ✪ Light | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | €×1|€™ | 492 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | KingZZ | 390 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | $utta4fter$ex | 372 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jerry | 177 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ Light | 92 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「✪ Re$PecT」 | +2.67 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | KingZZ | +1.74 | 77 | 75 |
| #3 | ✪ Light | +1.34 | 84 | 37 |
| #4 | €×1|€™ | +1.25 | 85 | 66 |
| #5 | nhk | +0.22 | 73 | 60 |





