










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 20 | 11% |
| Smokes | 60 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 59 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 45 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $20,381 of utility $20 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tij | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Maki | 18% | 11 |
| #8 | assthrasher6000 | 17% | 6 |
| #9 | 6-7 billion usd would fix me rn | 0% | 4 |
| #10 | blob | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knomico | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | THE SCROLL HAS GIVEN HIM POWER | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | type shit desuwa~ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Trap Eevee | 1 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | 6-7 billion usd would fix me rn | 1 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE SCROLL HAS GIVEN HIM POWER | +11.48 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | assthrasher6000 | +5.30 | 77 | 51 |
| #3 | Maki | +0.24 | 63 | 22 |
| #4 | knomico | -1.98 | 37 | 32 |
| #5 | 6-7 billion usd would fix me rn | -2.45 | 34 | 0 |





