








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3247 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2381 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2208 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2455 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1967 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $940,893 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1640 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coastin | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | THE. FUCKING. BEST. | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Sanity | 57% | 49 |
| #4 | MisfitMason | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | CY0NiK | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Dinero Fácil | 53% | 32 |
| #9 | Warrior | 50% | 36 |
| #10 | alem | 48% | 50 |
| #11 | 123 | 48% | 23 |
| #12 | Hoellywood | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alem | 12 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | Dinero Fácil | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | BIG STEPPA | 5 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | ✪ Master Shifu | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Sanity | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sanity | 308 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #2 | CY0NiK | 237 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #3 | Warrior | 124 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hoellywood | 111 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ Master Shifu | 102 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 123 | +2.58 | 93 | 42 |
| #2 | CY0NiK | +2.03 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | thicc thighs save lives | +1.47 | 81 | 58 |
| #4 | coastin | +1.39 | 89 | 41 |
| #5 | BIG STEPPA | +1.33 | 90 | 57 |





