








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 151 matches | ||
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7481 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,934 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5306 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2434 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2912 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2282 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,840,680 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 639 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saku | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | Chcankopták | 59% | 209 |
| #3 | TKKKK | 57% | 54 |
| #4 | Slaeer | 55% | 294 |
| #5 | $ISSYBOYDURDEN | 52% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Slaeer | 55% | 294 |
| #5 | $ISSYBOYDURDEN | 52% | 92 |
| #6 | zbyndik | 51% | 132 |
| #7 | Happy Miata | 49% | 49 |
| #8 | ?? | 47% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slaeer | 23 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Chcankopták | 19 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | ?? | 17 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | TKKKK | 16 | 0.0150 |
| #5 | zbyndik | 9 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slaeer | 958 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | Chcankopták | 837 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #3 | ?? | 537 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #4 | zbyndik | 230 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | $ISSYBOYDURDEN | 228 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cya | +3.50 | 93 | 65 |
| #2 | Chcankopták | +2.14 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | ?? | +1.58 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | Saku | +0.40 | 77 | 56 |
| #5 | TKKKK | +0.18 | 69 | 65 |





