








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 219 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3765 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2478 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2903 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1693 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $968,768 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pheb | 54% | 198 |
| #4 | Helena | 54% | 178 |
| #5 | khidion | 54% | 177 |
| #6 | ERROR | 47% | 51 |
| #7 | aquarius-- | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pheb | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | aquarius-- | 11 | 0.0151 |
| #3 | Helena | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | keks | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | khidion | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pheb | 1030 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #2 | keks | 501 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Helena | 486 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | khidion | 455 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | aquarius-- | 162 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aquarius-- | +2.84 | 65 | 64 |
| #2 | Tomi Härmälä | +1.99 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | Helena | +1.02 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | keks | +0.04 | 64 | 70 |
| #5 | ERROR | -0.19 | 79 | 60 |





