








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 390 | 13% |
| Smokes | 717 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 972 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 988 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,187 of utility $23 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | XEugene | 48% | 52 |
| #3 | THE_BOB | 47% | 77 |
| #4 | Toasty | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | RamboRicky | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | ZeroPercent | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toasty | 219 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | ZeroPercent | 50 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #3 | XEugene | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | THE_BOB | 15 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | RamboRicky | 15 | 0.02 | 0 min |





