








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1976 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 422 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




109 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7040 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4102 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5473 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3754 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,577 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lepep | 88% | 43 |
| #2 | GhostfreaK | 87% | 114 |
| #3 | PieSanG(LFP) | 83% | 236 |
| #4 | ParadoxGoos | 82% | 257 |
| #5 | stomp1e™ | 82% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | C̷A̷T̷A̷L̷Y̷S̷T̷ | 77% | 48 |
| #9 | KeeNinja | 76% | 104 |
| #10 | Kwas | 75% | 24 |
| #11 | Andre | 71% | 62 |
| #12 | driftrr. | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KeeNinja | 23 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | stomp1e™ | 22 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | ParadoxGoos | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | PieSanG(LFP) | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | GhostfreaK | 7 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stomp1e™ | 1125 | 0.25 | 26 min |
| #2 | ParadoxGoos | 1057 | 0.22 | 30 min |
| #3 | PieSanG(LFP) | 753 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | KeeNinja | 634 | 0.32 | 15 min |
| #5 | GhostfreaK | 339 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bav (LFP) | +7.65 | 99 | 80 |
| #2 | Lepep | +3.09 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | PieSanG(LFP) | +2.19 | 83 | 74 |
| #4 | ParadoxGoos | +2.09 | 82 | 78 |
| #5 | GhostfreaK | +0.89 | 71 | 67 |





