








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,190 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 991 | 24% |
| Smokes | 987 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1542 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 670 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $414,534 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Valyrian | 46% | 63 |
| #4 | Waco_ | 44% | 62 |
| #5 | Deadly | 40% | 43 |
| #6 | TANK Evans | 36% | 11 |
| #7 | Anlon | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waco_ | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Anlon | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Deadly | 1 | 0.0011 |





