










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 812 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1200 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1810 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1175 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $450,001 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ball | 47% | 53 |
| #2 | αφμ seidu结束 2556 | 46% | 100 |
| #3 | Georgexving | 41% | 64 |
| #4 | unek :) | 39% | 79 |
| #5 | King of Pranks | 35% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | αφμ seidu结束 2556 | 23 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | PHILIP PARIS | 6 | 0.0179 |
| #3 | unek :) | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ΤΟ ΚΑΥΛΙ ΜΟΥ ΚΑΙΕ | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Georgexving | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King of Pranks | 110 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | unek :) | 102 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | αφμ seidu结束 2556 | 78 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | ball | 72 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | ΤΟ ΚΑΥΛΙ ΜΟΥ ΚΑΙΕ | 66 | 0.05 | 2 min |





