








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 973 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1188 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1605 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1584 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,915 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moffamoi | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | Eeko | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | ArZZgaa | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | tohku | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | carebunny#soloJeff | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | TheBigPate | 50% | 100 |
| #7 | Tanzon | 50% | 121 |
| #8 | Ooooo Poptunuruu | 48% | 31 |
| #9 | Dessu Hopo | 33% | 24 |
| #10 | Shellkowski | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tanzon | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ArZZgaa | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Dessu Hopo | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Moffamoi | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | carebunny#soloJeff | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tanzon | 373 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | TheBigPate | 348 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Moffamoi | 106 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Dessu Hopo | 84 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | ArZZgaa | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moffamoi | +2.68 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | Eeko | +1.68 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | Ooooo Poptunuruu | +1.39 | 63 | 50 |
| #4 | TheBigPate | +1.29 | 63 | 79 |
| #5 | carebunny#soloJeff | +0.46 | 66 | 58 |





