








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 489 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6439 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6297 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5190 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4552 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,084,719 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 692 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulevikalevi | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | tohku | 53% | 88 |
| #3 | Tanzon | 51% | 382 |
| #4 | TheBigPate | 49% | 474 |
| #5 | Shellkowski | 47% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tanzon | 51% | 382 |
| #4 | TheBigPate | 49% | 474 |
| #5 | Shellkowski | 47% | 119 |
| #6 | carebunny#soloJeff | 46% | 270 |
| #7 | Ooooo Poptunuruu | 45% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tanzon | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | TheBigPate | 11 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | carebunny#soloJeff | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Ooooo Poptunuruu | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Sulevikalevi | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBigPate | 1477 | 0.14 | 51 min |
| #2 | Tanzon | 1274 | 0.16 | 39 min |
| #3 | Shellkowski | 236 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Ooooo Poptunuruu | 175 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | carebunny#soloJeff | 166 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moffamoi | +0.97 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | Ooooo Poptunuruu | +0.94 | 60 | 53 |
| #3 | TheBigPate | +0.65 | 64 | 80 |
| #4 | tohku | -0.29 | 61 | 58 |
| #5 | Tanzon | -0.83 | 67 | 76 |





