








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1338 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1047 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1190 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1440 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $306,675 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡ Zeus Maximus ⚡ | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | markush | 48% | 61 |
| #3 | w1zard_d | 44% | 55 |
| #4 | Szaniszló | 38% | 34 |
| #5 | S1ghoul- | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⚡ Zeus Maximus ⚡ | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | markush | 48% | 61 |
| #3 | w1zard_d | 44% | 55 |
| #4 | Szaniszló | 38% | 34 |
| #5 | S1ghoul- | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markush | 39 | 0.0306 |
| #2 | w1zard_d | 16 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | Szaniszló | 9 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | S1ghoul- | 8 | 0.0241 |
| #5 | ⚡ Zeus Maximus ⚡ | 1 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w1zard_d | 246 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | markush | 245 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Szaniszló | 64 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | ⚡ Zeus Maximus ⚡ | 62 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | S1ghoul- | 28 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w1zard_d | +2.66 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | ⚡ Zeus Maximus ⚡ | +2.30 | 67 | 80 |
| #3 | S1ghoul- | +1.05 | 74 | 31 |
| #4 | 99% dominate enterlev | +0.72 | 78 | 49 |
| #5 | markush | +0.22 | 58 | 65 |





