








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 756 | 28% |
| Smokes | 747 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 693 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 533 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,163 of utility $280 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paradox | 86% | 14 |
| #2 | Geltles | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | 𝙂𝓊𝒆ɲɲɪ★ | 69% | 55 |
| #4 | Feasy | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | 0800backpapier | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paradox | 6 | 0.0212 |
| #2 | 𝙂𝓊𝒆ɲɲɪ★ | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Geltles | 2 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | anna | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | 0800backpapier | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙂𝓊𝒆ɲɲɪ★ | 151 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | 0800backpapier | 64 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | anna | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Geltles | 38 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | тħeøиαтøя | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paradox | +7.66 | 92 | 48 |
| #2 | Geltles | +6.12 | 85 | 48 |
| #3 | GameDaim | +2.83 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | 0800backpapier | +1.83 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | 𝙂𝓊𝒆ɲɲɪ★ | -1.06 | 27 | 53 |





