








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1108 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,866 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1512 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1547 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 554 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1253 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,424 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1kolai. | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | Rabbi Abel Shekelstein | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | BOB | 51% | 100 |
| #4 | Ghost | 51% | 93 |
| #5 | LordValla | 45% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rabbi Abel Shekelstein | 54% | 24 |
| #3 | BOB | 51% | 100 |
| #4 | Ghost | 51% | 93 |
| #5 | LordValla | 45% | 77 |
| #6 | x1clyde | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x1clyde | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Ghost | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | LordValla | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | n1kolai. | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Rabbi Abel Shekelstein | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x1clyde | 301 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | LordValla | 159 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ghost | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | BOB | 98 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | n1kolai. | 57 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | +2.11 | 90 | 52 |
| #2 | n1kolai. | +0.58 | 76 | 67 |
| #3 | toxic- | +0.32 | 78 | 79 |
| #4 | Rabbi Abel Shekelstein | -1.23 | 52 | 60 |
| #5 | LordValla | -1.30 | 74 | 55 |





