








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,024 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 545 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1076 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 722 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 681 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,684 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1kolai. | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Rabbi Abel Shekelstein | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | toxic- | 51% | 100 |
| #4 | Ghost | 48% | 131 |
| #5 | LordValla | 43% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Rabbi Abel Shekelstein | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | toxic- | 51% | 100 |
| #4 | Ghost | 48% | 131 |
| #5 | LordValla | 43% | 98 |
| #6 | x1clyde | 39% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | x1clyde | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | toxic- | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | LordValla | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Ghost | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Rabbi Abel Shekelstein | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toxic- | 464 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | x1clyde | 368 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #3 | LordValla | 209 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ghost | 169 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | n1kolai. | 63 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOB | +2.07 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | toxic- | +0.53 | 79 | 80 |
| #3 | n1kolai. | +0.06 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | Rabbi Abel Shekelstein | -1.21 | 55 | 58 |
| #5 | LordValla | -1.44 | 69 | 56 |





