








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3510 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3463 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3765 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2442 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,373,461 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 690 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Minapu | 48% | 66 |
| #10 | sWAN_ | 48% | 135 |
| #11 | MerkNix | 45% | 172 |
| #12 | Shmilus | 43% | 109 |
| #13 | MAx | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shmilus | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Fabi_ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | eddy | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Siggi ツ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Minapu | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sWAN_ | 530 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Fabi_ | 509 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | Shmilus | 330 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Minapu | 287 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kontrabandist | 207 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | texoo | +2.16 | 90 | 68 |
| #2 | sWAN_ | +1.27 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | Kontrabandist | +1.08 | 88 | 50 |
| #4 | MerkNix | +0.62 | 56 | 60 |
| #5 | Minapu | +0.55 | 68 | 69 |





