








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 429 | 23% |
| Smokes | 389 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 462 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 557 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,255 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akuku | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | `d̶ø🅛a̷Я. | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | wicia | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | latoss | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | SAD | 54% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | `d̶ø🅛a̷Я. | 5 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | wicia | 3 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Habibi | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | latoss | 2 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | 亲爱的 | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAD | 286 | 0.34 | 6 min |
| #2 | 71 S4DDLL | 130 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | 亲爱的 | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | latoss | 39 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | `d̶ø🅛a̷Я. | 24 | 0.06 | 0 min |





