








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,803 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2574 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3380 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2274 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1575 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,483 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 790 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuro | 11 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | B1mmel | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Alf Schumacher | 5 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | Idefix | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Pingwin | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1mmel | 317 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Idefix | 79 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pingwin | 50 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kuro | 27 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Alf Schumacher | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuro | +1.34 | 59 | 40 |
| #2 | B1mmel | +1.00 | 38 | 44 |
| #3 | AlwaySloth | +0.99 | 53 | 52 |
| #4 | Pingwin | -0.80 | 54 | 61 |
| #5 | Idefix | -1.44 | 45 | 36 |





