








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 480 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1553 | 20% |
| Smokes | 240 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 3918 | 51% |
| Molotovs | 1984 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,122,147 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1686 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 🌸oatmeal🌸 | 50% | 149 |
| #6 | Paniic Blossom | 50% | 134 |
| #7 | Floater | 50% | 212 |
| #8 | East | 49% | 79 |
| #9 | bobby59559 | 39% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌸oatmeal🌸 | 41 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | East | 16 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Teshyrr | 14 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Floater | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Paniic Blossom | 4 | 0.0015 |





