








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 180 | 5% |
| Smokes | 1355 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1029 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 868 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,093 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Товарищ Джонатан | 14 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | LatiosHD | 7 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | Ryze | 5 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | tree_zero | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | getmyisland | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Товарищ Джонатан | 186 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | tree_zero | 66 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Scherzwaffle | 62 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | getmyisland | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | DiffizilT | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seelenloser | +3.91 | 64 | 36 |
| #2 | dEg | +3.58 | 71 | 42 |
| #3 | Товарищ Джонатан | +1.54 | 48 | 48 |
| #4 | DiffizilT | +0.24 | 72 | 44 |
| #5 | getmyisland | +0.09 | 53 | 59 |





